30 for 30: 30 men you should date before you turn 30
Whether you're living it up in your 20's or already swimming in your 30's, you will meet and date people who frankly do not deserve to breathe your air. Actually, you at some point in life may be represented on this list. I could have easily titled this 30 people you should date before 30 because there are definitely trash ass men AND women on this earth who have many of the same qualities when it comes to dating. Let's just chalk it up to the fact that we all make mistakes.
If you're still in your twenties, now is the time for you to date as many f*ck boys as you can. Mostly because you don't know any better and you probably don't know what you want. After reading this you may even date 5 more "bad boys" until you finally realize that you're not about that life. Through experience you will find that you met and loved these people so that you could learn more about yourself and what you really need to thrive in a healthy and sustainable relationship. Trust me there are lessons in losing (people). In your 30's and beyond (wishful thinking), you will have the wisdom to spot when someone is stringing you along or simply is not a good fit for you. When you know better, you do better...hopefully.
Now, this post was written with the purpose of being entertainment. I'm giving you a list of men that you should go ahead and date now so that you can get them out of your system. If you're currently dating one of these people, don't take it personally. Just do better, sis.
The list below is not ranked, btw. Enjoy!
- The Sugar Daddy- This guy has more money than he knows what to do with. Why not let him spend a little money on you? Sure he may not be a looker and the peen is wack, but at this stage, you're giving it up for free anyway. Why not get your rent paid or some nice shoes to stunt in.
- Mr. Lives in his Momma's Basement- In your twenties, there's a chance that you might still be living with your own mom. It's okay to date dude now, but once you can afford your own place, you'll probably want a partner who can take care of themselves too. Also, as Michael B. Jordan has proven, its okay for a man to live with his parents, when in actuality they live with him... in his mansion.
- The Momma's Boy- You will quickly realize that they have a weird attachment that you can't quite put your finger on. Maybe its because his father left and he's been the man of the house for a long time or simply because you will never be good enough for her son. Just enjoy the ride and exit when you're done.
- The Married Man- I am in no way encouraging you to date a married man. But if you're gonna fall for the "I'm leaving my wife" lies, you might as do it while you're young and dumb so you can learn the truth now. 9 times out of 10 he's not going to leave his wife and if he does there's no guarantee that you two are going to live happily ever after.
- The Workaholic- If he has to choose between work and you, it's always going to be work. Period.
- The Drug Dealer- I'm from Detroit, so let's just say I've dated my fair share of people who sold marijuana. If you're gonna try out the ride or die lifestyle, now is the time. I don't encourage it, but you will make your own decisions.
- Amazing Dick with No Determination- The sex is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G, but that's all he can really offer you. He doesn't work or is barely making it, he can't afford nice dates, and the conversation is depressing.
- The Party Promoter- He's surrounded by loud music, alcohol, and beautiful women almost every night. There's a lot of temptation and most of the time he will give in. Enjoy getting in the club free, but know that you may not be the only one.
- Dude with a baby on the way- No, he's not with his ex anymore, but has there really been enough time for closure? There's also a chance that once the baby is here they may decide to try to work it out. Plus a new kid means even less time for you.
- A man with multiple baby momma's- Unless you're dating Diddy, you probably won't be sitting around the holiday dinner table as one big happy family (And even that took YEARS to happen). Don't get me wrong, this situation can work if he's mature, takes care of his children, and is able to keep the relationships with his exes strictly platonic. Keep in mind he's probably got good D, so make sure your method of birth control is on point. Clearly his pull out game is not strong.
- Bad Sex Guy- You've been dating for awhile now and this guy seems like the perfect package, until you actually try out the package. He will have you questioning if you're too into sex. It's not you, you two are just not sexually compatible. You can try to teach him, but if he's still struggling let somebody else do it.
- The Hopeless Romantic- You've only been on one date and he's already in love. How sway? How? I know you're amazing, but you're not that amazing. He's got some attachment issues. Don't fall for it, sis.
- The Commitment Phobe- He claims he wants you and only you, but he doesn't like titles. He's going to string you along for as long as you allow him to without making a commitment to you. If you want something more serious, he won't be the one to give it to you.
- The Guy fresh out of a relationship- This guy probably got his heart broken by his awful ex who cheated on him last month. He's still wounded from his last relationship. Until he gets closure and heals, nothing good will come of your situationship.
- The Starving Artist- Everybody won't get rich from their passions. Sometimes what you love most has to be the hobby that you enjoy after you finish working the job that pays the bills. If you're an artist or really understanding, this may work for you. But more than likely you will get tired of footing the bill.
- The Old Baller- At 37, he still thinks he's about to get picked up by a professional team. You sit on the sidelines and cheer him on at his rec games, but honey his chances are 1 in 1 trillion. One day he'll create a backup plan. The real question is are you willing to wait until that happens?
- The Weed Head- He smokes A LOT. This will work for you if you also enjoy smoking. The problems start when smoking is ALL that he wants to do.
- The Gamer- Right now he's sitting on the couch with his headset on, cursing out strangers for no good reason. He ain't got time for you. Gaming is LIFE.
- The Pathological Liar- He will lie so good that you will question if you're the one who's wrong. This guy will help you learn the signs of a liar so you know how to stay away from them in the future.
- The Hotep- It's true sis, you are a queen. But make sure that "woke bae" truly cares about YOU as a multilayered human being. Hoteps have been known to be sexist, homophobic, slut shame, and be totally ignorant of intersectionality.
- The Pimp- I don't care what anyone tells you, any man with a pinky ring is suspect. Pimping may not be their occupation, but I guarantee in some way, form, or fashion, it is a way of life.
- The Porn Star- If you're cool with your man slinging ding dong all over the web, then go for it. Just make sure that you are secure enough to share your partner with the world.
Mr. I love Kanye more than Kanye loves Kanye- There's nothing wrong with a man who loves himself, but there's a fine line between confident and conceited. An arrogant man loves having the spotlight on him, finds it hard to be empathetic, and wants everything done his way. He only keeps you around because you look good on his arm.
- Pigpen- The concept of cleaning up doesn't quite register for this guy. His place is a mess, his car is a mess, his LIFE is a MESS.
- The guy who is addicted to porn- Sure he cares about you, but his addiction has caused him to isolate himself and show little interest in sex or intimacy with you. This is probably something that you can't just love away. He may need therapy.
- Mr. Disappearing Act - You're dating and really feeling each other and then, BAM, he ghosts you. No call, no text, no email, nothing. Then he pops back up a month later like nothing happened. Instead of totally icing him you let him back in and the cycle continues. He's just not that into you girl.
- The Bad Boy- He's sexy, exciting, and loves to take risks (tattoos may or may not be included.) However, he's probably got some baggage that you're not prepared to deal with. Whether it be a prison past, addictions, death in his family, or a tortured childhood, homeboy is probably broken. You, my dear, will not be able to fix that, no matter how hard you try.
- Chauvinistic/ Sexist- If you believe that your "place" in the world is in the kitchen, cleaning, pregnant, and quiet, then you've met your match. It may not be that obvious in the beginning, but look out for the signs: criticizing women based on appearance, mis-gendering trans and non-binary people, using female stereotypes, being dismissive of your feelings, and using words like "pussy", "bitch" and "cunt" as insults.
- Mr. Insecure- You will find him showing off on the gram all day long. He needs to show off his accomplishments by constantly bragging about his car, house, career, education, women, and lifestyle. Be careful because most insecure people will try to make you feel insecure too.
- The One who got away- This guy is everything you hoped for. Even though you're not together anymore you learned so many valuable lessons about what you want in a partner and what you won't tolerate. There were some fundamental differences that wouldn't allow you to see happily ever after, but you're thankful that it happened and looking forward to your next great lover.
So how many of these guys have you dated? Leave your number in the comments!