4 words that you should never utter in your relationship
This post is for all my I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T women!
So I was talking to a friend about drama between her and her future husband and somewhere in the midst of our conversation she says:
“I make my own money, got my own car, got (insert everything else she got), and I love him, but I don’t need him!" And I’m like:
My friend is like
And I'm just like
Now, do you know where she went wrong? It wasn’t the list of things she has. I would probably say the same if I’m trying to let someone know that I can take care of myself. The problem was the “I don’t need you” part.
Ladies, it is NOT okay to tell the person that you are in a healthy committed relationship with that you don't need them. (NOTE: if he or she is just your boo-thang and is really not adding anything positive to your life -besides sex- you have my permission to tell em that you don't need em.) If we take it back to the basics with Manslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, we need water, food, shelter, security, self-respect, self fulfillment, but also love and belongingness. You NEED intimacy, affection, trust, and acceptance. So if this person is providing you with those things then you need them AND there’s nothing wrong with that! It does not make you weak. We know that if y'all ever broke up you would survive. That’s not the point.
If you tell your partner that you don’t need them enough, eventually they may decide to leave because at the end of the day, if you don’t need me, why am I here?? Whether you admit it or not people want to be needed. Also how would you feel if your partner looked you square in the eye and told you that they loved you, but didn't really need you. I've been in that situation before and it hurt like hell.
So what would a better response be? How about, “I enjoy your company", "I love when you're around", "we make a really great team". You don't even have to use the word "need". If you really don't need them, trust me, they already know that. You don't have to throw it in their face.
#Letsargue What do you think? Leave your comments below.