Is it time to break up with your partner?
Summer is slowly slipping away and soon it will be fall. And you know what that means. Cuffing season is coming!!! So the real question is will that summer fling last or better yet, is it time to drop the person that you’ve been dating for years with no future in sight?
I’ve had my fair share of break ups so I know first hand that breaking up is hard to do. Sometimes it’s obvious that you should let someone go, like if your partner is abusive or cheating, but other times it’s not so clear. Many of us talk ourselves into giving it another chance, even when we know we’re not truly happy. If you are currently in a relationship and not sure what to do next, read on for 6 reasons why it may be time to move on.
No one likes your partner
I mean NO ONE. Not your mom, not your friends, hell you barely like them. I am not saying that you need to break up with them right this second, but I am saying take it as a warning sign. Before I met my husband, I dated a man for 3.5 years. I had a suspicion that some people were simply tolerating him, but no one ever confirmed it. That is until we broke up. When I asked my best friend why she never said anything she responded “ I knew you were in love, and nothing I said was going to change that”. And she was right. My rose colored glasses had me overlooking the fact that I knew he was not the man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Take heed, because sometimes people on the outside will be able to see what you can’t. Partly because they’re not fucking them.
You argue all the time
I totally think arguing with your partner from time to time is normal. You’re not always going to agree and that's okay. However, when you’re arguing about who washed the dishes last, or why you didn’t answer their call, or about what to eat today, then it may be a sign of something deeper. Usually when people argue all the time it’s because a) you’re not compatible, b) you’re not happy with yourself or c) there are outside forces (work, family,money issues) that are stressing you out. Whether the truth is that you’re unhappy with your life or your relationship, you may need to spend some time alone and figure out what will give you peace and happiness. Relationships shouldn’t be that hard.
Your partner is a liar
Listen Linda, liars gonna lie. Sometimes we find out people we care about have lied to us and give them second chances. However, once you let someone lie or disrespect you and you let it slide, you open the door for more of it. For example, back in the day I went on a few dates with a guy and then he invited me to his house to watch the Lions and have drinks. Two shots in and 30 minutes into the game, a woman shows up on his doorstep and is BEATING DOWN THE DOOR. He reassured me that this was a woman that he had previously dated that just wouldn't let it go. I decided it was time to go home and the woman didn't argue with me. She knew I was an innocent bystander. Well friends, I continued to date that man off and on for almost a year because I figured we weren't in a relationship at the time, so why trip. Not only did that same woman come back around months later, but I also caught him in a bunch of other lies. I say all that to say, that you should trust your intuition. When you catch someone in a lie... or crazy situation, consider it a sign from God.
You don’t see a future with this person
A future does not necessarily mean marriage or kids. Envisioning a future with someone could look like spending the holidays with them or taking them to meet your family. Maybe you’re planning your next birthday and you simply don’t see them taking part in the festivities. If you want something long term, but can’t envision this person being a part of your life long term, what’s the point?
You don’t have the energy or motivation to fix your relationship
There will come a time when the stress of it all will just become too much to bare. You know you’re not happy and you’re getting tired of trying. You keep telling yourself that things will get better, but the truth is they are only getting worse. More than likely you’ve been trying and your partner hasn’t which is why you’re over it at this point. Save your energy for something else, friend.
You think the grass is greener on the other side
Your thoughts are usually the first step on the road to bad decisions. If you’re already daydreaming about what life would be like without your partner, you may be close to your breaking point. Whether its lusting after people on Instagram or flirting in public, believing that you have options is the first sign of a break up. If you’re already cheating on your partner it’s really a no-brainer from here. Yes, there are some people who cheat, get bored, and go back to their partners to live happily ever after. But it takes a strong person to forgive AND move forward. Plus how would you feel if your partner did the same to you? Trust me, cheating is a sign that you’re not happy in your current situation. Give it 100%, or move on.
Now all of the points above may be true for you and you still may not leave your relationship. Maybe you're just not fed up yet. Rest assure, if it's not meant to be, it will become clear in time. Good luck!