What are your Sex Goals for 2018?
Tell the truth, are you living your most orgasmic life?
Usually we set goals for our finances, career, family, and vacations, but never specifically for pleasure. I’m willing to bet that when you wrote down your goals for 2018, you left out sex. Well even if your sex life is magical there are always areas to improve and new things to try. So this year I sat down by myself and then again with the hubby to make a list of a few places where we could make improvements.
Now before I share some of my goals I want to emphasize the fact that I focused on myself first. I urge you to do the same. While it's fun to think of ways that you can spice up sex with a partner, it's equally important to focus on how you can please yourself. Especially for my single ladies out there. I know there’s nothing like body heat, but in the meantime, in between time, you can learn to pleasure yourself in a way that keeps you sexually fulfilled.
Before creating my list, I asked myself a few of the following questions:
- What do I currently enjoy during sex?
- What areas of my sex life need improvement?
- What things have I been too afraid to try or not made the time for?
- How can I make masturbation even better?
- What fantasies do I have?
Now on to the goals:
Accept my body, flaws and all
I know this may seem more like a fitness goal, but to be honest I'm not running to anybody's gym anytime soon. So until I get motivated to move more, I need to practice loving me the way that I am. I can admit that I still get caught up on that little budge that has remained in my midsection 3 years after childbirth and I can't help but notice how my face has gotten a little plumper over time. Also since I'm a little self conscious, I assume that my husband is turned off by it too. Which means that I may not be as open as I could be in the bedroom (i.e, avoiding certain positions, not wearing sexier lingerie, etc.). My husband has confirmed over and over again that he is still as attracted to me as he was when we first met. So it's on me to get my shit together and love me the way I am now, not how I hope to be someday.
Longer solo sessions
Masturbation is a dear friend of mine! I mean I have my time down to a minute and 30, with toys or without. While that is incredibly convenient, this year I'm going to work on prolonging my solo sessions. That means taking the time to wine, dine, soak, and treat myself to some serious foreplay before I get down to business.
Last year, I stumbled upon nuru porn and it made me incredibly happy. Nuru is a Japanese erotic massage technique. The masseuse basically rubs their body against your body while you're nude and covered in massage lotion. I mean why not incorporate two of my favorite things: massages and happy endings!
This year we plan to meet up somewhere (probably a bar) and pretend to be strangers. We're looking forward to getting dressed up, creating new personas and working to try to get each other home for a one night stand. So if you see us out in public at opposite sides of the bar, we're not mad at each other... we're trying something new.
This is not the whole list because you know, my momma might be reading this, but I hope that my transparency helps you to dig deeper and make plans to make your sex life even better this year. Also keep in mind that if you try something new and don't like it, that's good. The best way to learn what you like is to learn what you don't like.
Ready. Sex. Go!